 |
My son Doug and brother Bruce, launching into Dacey Reservoir (Grant Range in the background) |
The Greeks have four words to describe love based on their observations on the subject. There is their word éros (ἔρως) to describe "physical"
passionate love that carries a sensual desire and longing; a more self-centered
“erotic” driving force. Then they have philia (φιλία) to describe a "mental"
love, an affectionate regard or friendship that exhibits the give and take seen in
families and friendship (the root of Philadelphia, city of brotherly love, originates
from philia). Their word storge (στοργή) describes "affection" as in a parent's natural affection for its offspring. Most importantly, they have agápe (ἀγάπη)
to describe a "spiritual" love, a true sense of unconditional love
that is selfless; it gives and expects nothing in return. Agápe is the word used in the Bible's "love
chapter," 1 Corinthians 13; it is a sacrificial and spiritual love. I believe
all four words are used in the Bible, but perhaps a more scholarly Bible reader
will post a correction to that assumption.
Anyway, the point is that in context each clarifies what God was saying
in the Holy Scripture.
I’m sure you are asking why I’m on this bent today. It’s because my older brother Bruce used his
five-day vacation to visit me and my family, and his visit caused me to ponder
my love for him. Clearly I storge him as
part of my nuclear family, and philia him as well. I do not éros him, but I when I search my soul do I see my agápe for him? That’s the crux of our relationship: do I
love my brother unconditionally? Or, is
my relationship based solely on a give and take; do I give to him only through
an expectation that he’ll give back in return… in an equal amount? This can be
dangerous territory.
There is no question that Christ had agápe love for mankind;
He was the living sacrifice for all us sinners with full knowledge that He
created us with free will in order that we may choose to follow Him out of love…
or not. God wants us to choose to become Christ-like by the power of the Holy
Spirit, and therefore agápe others that He created in his likeness. And it is no coincidence that God’s greatest commandment
is to agápe God and agápe our fellow man (Mark 12:30-31).
Thank goodness that is possible through the power of the Spirit given
some of these characters we find living amongst us, and you know of whom I mean.
So, when I think of my love for Bruce how did it manifest itself on this visit? Did I allow him to stay in our home even
though it inconvenienced our family? Did I share my food and drink with him?
Did I use my vacation time to be with him, in his presence, accepting any behavior
or habits that I might find awkward or even stressful? Did I do any of these things with the
expectation that he’d reciprocate? And, if he never reciprocates will I refuse
a request for a return visit in the future?
 |
Backwoods Bruce and FisherDad |
By way of background, Bruce was almost ten years old when
our dad died; I was just over three. Our
mom was pregnant with our sister June when dad succumbed to the effects of a misdiagnosed
heart attack. The dreadful event
actually occurred on my sister’s due date (she was born eight days after), which
was also our oldest brother Neal’s thirteenth birthday. Bruce and I discussed the awful difficulties
our mother endured, not to mention the impact on he and Neal being they
were at that formative age when a dad becomes so instrumental in their
development. There’s much to that story,
but the main event was our mother’s agápe love for her children. Our family persevered despite our significant
loss, moved out west to start a new life, all made possible by the
sacrificial love our mother had for her children. Oh, and our mom did this as a single mother,
never remarrying, doing her level best to give up her dreams so that her
children could achieve their own. That
is agápe. In today’s society, a young
mother is more likely to sacrifice her children’s needs and aspirations in
order to pursue her own.
The last time Bruce and I got together was at our brother Neal’s
funeral, ten years ago this coming November (our mom passed almost three years earlier).
We communicate via phone and email occasionally, but most of our
conversations focus on our mutual affection for nature. Our most recent conversations drift towards our
health as we push into our retirement years. Last fall Bruce proposed the idea of a visit
to Las Vegas (he’s the resident naturalist of Ojai, California), partly to be
with our family but also with the notion of a shared fishing trip. He said my recent posts on Dacey Reservoir’s
large rainbows stirred a strong desire to try float-tubing for the first time. There is excellent fishing in the coastal
mountains around Ojai, most significant being the Sespe, Sisquoc, and Casitas waters, but none ever presented the need to float tube on still waters. Bruce was also intrigued with the notion of large trout in the middle of the Great Basin desert... who knew? And thus we hatched a four-day visit with two of them set
aside for fishing Dacey.
 |
Bruce fighting a nineteen inch rainbow that was foraging along the boulders |
 |
The rainbow in the net |
Bruce stayed with us, and arrived in time to celebrate Easter dinner. Absent were Nick and Doug, but Doug was to join us on the fishing trip; Nick now lives in San Francisco. Tuesday Bruce and I visited the Corn Creek Ranger Station (gateway to the Desert National Wildlife Refuge) while Emily was in preschool, and afterwards we took her to the Las Vegas Springs Preserve. Emily quickly took to Bruce, but it was likely because his odd sense of humor was familiar to her; I emulated his idiosyncratic mind when he served as my pre-teen surrogate father figure.
 |
Plump thirteen inch rainbow that held over from the fall stocking program (taken on a callebaetis nymph) |
The unstable
weather forecast for the Wayne Kirch Wildlife Management Area forced us to split fishing days between Monday and Wednesday as Tuesday’s
wind reached 29 miles per hour. We arose
extra early on Monday to get on the water by 7:30 AM because the winds were scheduled to arrive by noon, effectively blowing us off the water. Conversely, we returned late Wednesday morning so that the early morning winds would have a chance to subside. Still, Wednesday’s breezes were enough to
ground Bruce on the reservoir dam by mid-afternoon, which is where I was once again confronted with agápe love.
 |
Largest trout of the trip: twenty-two inch hen fish dropping roe |
I had contemplated offering Bruce the use of my NFO Outlaw Escape
while I used one of my Fish Cat tubes. I
was praying for calm weather because such conditions would minimize any
difference in effort between the two; but tubing on the Fish Cat without the advantage of an integrated
oar system in winds approaching 10 miles per hour would cause fishermen our age
to tire quickly (constant finning, or kick-paddling, is required just to
maintain position let alone locomote to different locations). Fortunately, Monday morning’s weather complied
perfectly, and when the breeze finally kicked up it pushed us in the direction
of the Trout Truck for the mid-day extraction before the high winds developed. In fact, there were just four other tubers on
the water that day, and they were in the wrong place as they needed to fight
through the winds to return to their truck; Bruce and I were very thankful our
strategy worked in our favor.
 |
Bruce fighting an eighteen inch male from the Fish Cat |
 |
Golden spawning colors of the eighteen inch male rainbow (at first sight Bruce thought it was a brown trout) |
 |
Close-up of the toothy hooked jaw; note the dislocated upper maxillary (Bruce relocated it before release) |
Wednesday was not as cooperative, but I failed to offer
Bruce the Escape until he had already been beached on the dam. My son Doug joined us on his day off, and when
we launched I had the Escape and Bruce and Doug were on the Fish Cats. Doug is young and strong, so he propelled all
over the place without any sign of distress.
We had just two landing nets and one camera between us. When Doug went off to the southwestern side of
the reservoir I found myself rowing back and forth between Bruce and Doug to be
sure we got memorable pictures documenting our success, and to use my 31-inch landing
net (with a 18-inch hoop) to assist in landing the larger trout. I justified keeping the Escape for my use to ferry our limited resources back and forth.
However, when I realized Bruce had beached his Fish Cat because the
finning had consumed his leg strength I recognized my selfishness. I offered to trade tubes with him, but by
then it was too late; he didn’t have the energy to float anymore.
 |
Doug cradling his first fish of the day |
Fortunately, the large trout foraging near the rocky
impoundment we experienced on Monday had returned by mid-afternoon allowing Bruce
to land several on nymphs along the submerged rocks and boulders. His success lessened my guilt, but I still
felt that had I been less selfish, had I loved Bruce as I loved myself, I would
have offered him the Escape even before the strong winds arrived. It made me wonder if I agápe’d Bruce as God asks
of me, or if I merely philia’d or storge’d him.
I know Bruce did not have any expectations and would likely say I did everything
I could to make his visit awesome, but I still know better.
 |
Bruce holding a magnificent nineteen inch rainbow |
 |
Twenty inch male fooled by a damsel fly nymph |
 |
FisherDad and a fine nineteen inch male |
Regarding the fishing details, it was amazingly simple
most of the time. The trick was finding
where the trout were. Monday was warmer and
the winds calmer, and we found all we could handle in the southeast corner of
the reservoir. Fly selection did not seem
to matter much. Not counting the numerous
long-distance-releases (LDRs), in four hours I landed six, half of which were between seventeen
to nineteen inches, whereas all five of Bruce’s were between seventeen to
nineteen inches.
When Doug joined us on Wednesday the fishing got even better, although it took a while to heat up. We all caught good fish, but as Pastor Maclean said to his sons in Robert Redford's movie, “…it’s just that The Lord had
particularly blessed me.” Of the eleven
trout I landed, the top four were 22, 21, 20, and 19 inches. All of Bruce’s were carbon copies from
Monday. Doug hooked into a rather large
rainbow that he played for about ten minutes.
After hearing a level of stress in Doug's voice as he shouted out from
afar, “This one is huge!”, I rowed as fast as I could to get to him. Witnessing the trout near the surface I easily
had it at 20 inches. I attempted
to scoop it into the landing net several times, but it was not ready. Growing anxious, Doug tried to muscle it towards
me whereupon the tippet blood knot gave out and we lost the trout without a
picture. I know Doug and I will always
have our memory of that great fish and our failed attempt to land it despite the absence of photographic evidence (maybe it’ll grow to 23 inches as we retell the story to others over the years). Doug, by the way, was the only one of us to
land any largemouth bass, all three of which he connected with near the southwest
part of the reservoir.
 |
Another spawn-colored eighteen inch male rainbow |
 |
Fine looking eighteen inch rainbow landed by Bruce |
 |
Yet another large male that came to our nets |
While the fishing was awesome and extremely gratifying, more
than we expected or even deserved, it was the time spent together that was most
important. Reliving some of our childhood
memories, discussing our family and friends, agreeing that The Lord had blessed our lives more than we deserved, that was what the visit was all about. The fishing was just a means to an end, but
it was a mighty fine means. And yes, I do believe I love Bruce unconditionally despite our differences.
 |
FisherDad, Bruce, and Doug celebrating a very blessed day of fishing |
6 comments:
I thank God that I have Mark as my brother. He is such a fine man! And one heck of a fishing guide.
Backwoods Bruce
The last photo of the 3 Vincent men said it all, for Jim & I.....amazing ! Even tho we don't fully understand all of the fishing jargon, we get the gist of what you are telling us! Jeannie & Jim
Hands down , the best fishing I've ever had the blessing of encountering, and as far as I'm concerned I'd rather fish with my father Mark, Uncle Bruce, & God on any day than with Robert Redford!LOL
Bruce -
We were very fortunate on our fishing days. The weather has turned cold and windy. I was so happy that you caught the trout you did... one never knows. I am looking forward to our next time together... maybe in your back yard helping out the Cornell Lab of Ornithology.
Love you bro!
- Mark
Jeannie/Jim -
Ya, that fishy jargon stuff gets me sometimes, too. The 1 Corinthians 13 "love" message was way more important than the fishy talk anyway.
Blessings from Vegas to Concord!
- Mark
Douglas -
I was stoked we could arrange a fishing day to include you. Staying connected to your family, even extended family, is so meaningful. Knowing the trial and tribulations of those that came before you, their achievements, the overcoming of adversity, it all gives you perspective and motivation. That is why knowing that your ultimate father is The Lord who created and adopted you as a co-heir in Christ gives you life. We can't have a better father than Him who knew us before we were born, and who has prepared a heavenly room for us in advance. With Him as Abba Father whom shall we fear, eh?
Love you son, so proud of the man you are!
-- Dad
Post a Comment